1. Don't expect to get a raise or promoted based on performance. People have worked here for 5+ years and have never had a raise, let alone a review. Promotions are based on who you sing karaoke with and drink beers with after work. Talent has absolutely nothing to do with advancement, and there is zero professional development.
2. Middle management is incompetent. C-levels know this and want it that way. There are two C-levels who oversee the entire operation and have surrounded themselves with director level employees who could not get a lateral job at any other company. The directors are put there because they are yes (wo)men and have no opinions or creative thoughts. They are scared to push back because losing their job means it's back to entry-level or retail as their talent would dictate. They are notorious for stealing subordinate's ideas and parroting them as their own, or reading the latest E-Marketer newsletter, breaking out the thesaurus, and championing their fresh, new rock.
3. You will not find a company that talks more about it's own culture. Only problem is that the turnover during the last 4 years has been about 85% of the staff and no one actually knows what the culture is anymore, unless the culture is quirky "humor" that was fresh in 2004 and hasn't changed since then. During the last year, some of the most talented people who have stepped foot in this building have "left". (I put parentheses around left because no one is ever fired as they all choose to move on. Funny how no one ever gives two weeks though...) They clearly didn't know my following rules to keep your job at Emma:
A. Laugh at the owner's tired jokes. Also helps to feign inspiration when needed.
B. Understand that you will not be part of the cool clique, so don't try.
C. Do not, under any circumstances, form an opinion that challenges the norm. In 4 years we have brought on at least 8 mid-upper management hires because we needed "fresh ideas and new blood". The current management team is the same in 2014 as it was in 2010 as none of the new hires have lasted. Wanting to change is not willing to change.
D. Think as you will, but act like your fellow lemming.
4. There is this pervasive idea that Emma will blow up once such and such happens, or so and so starts using us, or we launch X integration. It's particularly harmful for the company because it instills hope where there is none and when those milestones come and nothing changes, it's on to the next useless benchmark. Growth has been 2-4% over the last 5 years. For a tech company, that is abysmal and scary for the future prospects of Emma.
5. The product doesn't work consistently. I get that every tech company has bugs, but our support team looks like they hate life and haven't slept in a month because they deal with the same problems over, and over, and over. Bugs can and have taken over a year to get fixed. I believe Einstein once said something about the definition of insanity...
6. We also love to talk about our raving fan base like it's this diverse, multi-national, tri-gender, young, hip, collection of amazing people. In reality, it's a lot like Hall and Oates fans. Past their prime with no real influence on the current industry. The "designers" that love us, if profiled, would be a 41 year old woman who has photoshop-lite and does the branding and marketing to 350 people for her friend's coffee shop in Portland pro bono.