Of all the vile, incompetent, condescending HR flacks I’ve had the misfortune to speak with in phone screens over the years, the one I encountered at Converse may well be the most damagingly inept. Here is how she screwed up her job and lowered my opinion of the company she’s supposed to represent: phone interview 2 PM Monday; rejection email sent 6:58 AM Tuesday. Her ungainly haste gives away the lack of any pretense to genuine consideration. It's tacky and it's callous to send a rejection that soon, particularly to someone who has proven success in writing about athleisure for major brands. If her goal was to make the candidate feel like crud and therefore quickly grow to loathe Converse, she succeeded. Most of her questions were standard; the one time she tried to delve into matters of ecom writing, she phrased it in such an incoherent way – something re how digital differs from whatever – that I had no idea what the ask was. No one talks about digital as being a separate entity; so I spoke about the various kinds of writing I’ve done in digital settings, such as branding, taglines, product copy, etc. Her horse before the cart phrasing revealed that this woman has absolutely no capacity to evaluate anyone for an editorial position. So why am I talking to her and not to the hiring manager who, like me, is a writer and presumably knows how writers think? HR people, in my observation, can’t really do anything or relate to skills they themselves do not have. And yet there they are – blocking the paths of those who can. There were other infelicities. HR asked me if I had managed people. I said no. The job description contained no mention of managing others. Editors – effective ones – do not view themselves as supervisory – they are more concerned with being supportive colleagues within achieving a common good. HR asked about compensation. I said in the 80s, which I thought a fairly conservative sum given the financial realities of living in Boston. When I mentioned the cost of apartments, she said, “Almost no one who works here lives in Boston.” And I thought – why – because Converse is too cheap to pay well?
And that isn’t all: the hiring manager herself actually encouraged me to pursue this role. “It’s a great moment to apply,” she wrote. Presumably this person had read at least some of my portfolio and thought I could do the gig. She specifically suggested I email the above-described HR flack to get the process going. And so I did: the end result being that HR makes the hiring manager look like a liar – or something worse.